One thing has been in the back of my mind a lot the last few weeks. I notice that so many military wives have great faith that their husband will stay safe and will not be hurt or killed overseas. Of course, every one of us with a loved one deployed has fears that they will but hurt or killed, but some women I talk to seem to feel sort of invincible to this. One of my friends who is an Army wife read a book on Psalm 91 and said she had complete confidence afterwards that her husband would stay safe and God would protect him.
Now, I sort of have a problem with this. Do you think it's wrong to have complete confidence or faith that God will protect your loved one? What if you husband is killed overseas? Then do you lose your faith and get angry at God, or do you just realize that faith you had in the firstplace was mis-placed? I have known great Christian women with great faith whose husbands are killed. It is a heartbreaking and heart-wrenching thing to hear about, and it has even brought me to tears hearing stories of young women with 8 week old babies whose husbands just got killed in action. But it happens. Did these women just not have enough faith? No, I don't think that can be the answer.
A lot of people have asked me how I cope with my husband being gone. Do I worry he'll be killed? I have complete peace about my husband being in Iraq (although of course I still have fears). But I don't find my peace in a faith that nothing will happen to him. I do believe my husband will stay safe on this deployment, but I also know that God gives and takes away. I find my peace in this: God has our days numbered. He knows how long each of us has on this earth. And if my husband's days will end in Iraq, I just have to trust the Lord that He knew that all along. My husband could just as easily die here in American in a car wreck or anything else any day. I just have to trust God that His timing for our lives is perfect.
I don't think it's right to feel invincible or to have complete confidence your loved one will stay safe. We don't know the future, and the sad truth is that men of great faith die young every day. God has not promised us an easy life or that we will live until we're 90 if we just have enough faith. But He has promised us that He has our days numbered and that He works all things to our good. And that is what we can trust in.
I do believe God will keep my husband safe, but I also have fears that He won't. But my peace to overcome those fears is that ultimately, I just have to trust Him. Overall I have a great peace about Nathan being gone, and I don't spend time everyday worrying about him dying. Someday, he will pass away. And while that is, undoubtedly, my biggest fear in the entire world, I know that God is bigger and better than my love even for my husband, and in this too I have to continue to surrender Nathan to the Lord.
Love you, honey! You were on my mind all morning and I'm praying for you! And I have complete faith for you that NOTHING can take Nathan away except the loving hand of God. You are so right to trust in Him.
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